Frequently Asked Questions
Shame‑free answers. Start where you are.
Q1: What exactly is a Sure Thing?
The Sure Thing is a weekly pleasure practice. Beyond the weekly commitment, it’s wide open. Do it solo, with a partner, or with multiple consenting adults. Ten minutes or all night. Orgasm optional; fulfillment required. The only requirements are a clear intention and a regular practice.
Q2: What if I’m tired all the time? How do I access the energy?
The Sure Thing is being exactly where you are. For instance, if you can’t get off the couch, no problem. Practice right there.
As you lie on the couch, take a few deep breaths to try to settle the mind and bring your attention into your heart and/or belly. Maybe place a hand on your heart and one on your belly, or both on your heart, or both on your belly. Whatever feels best to you.
Now, ask yourself, What would be most pleasurable right now?
Perhaps your answer is to lie there and gently massage your belly, or your arm, or your face. How good can you make yourself feel by just stroking your cheek?
Once you start to feel even mild pleasurable sensations, the energy will often grow and you can just go on the ride. But don’t take my word for it. Try it for yourself!
Q3: Is this only for hetero couples?
No. The Sure Thing is for everyone who wants more sensual fulfillment, regardless of orientation or status.
Q4: What if I’m single?
You’ll grow a love affair with yourself and discover what you like, what you want, and that you can provide it. You’ll get to know parts of yourself you may not have known before.You’ll expand self‑love, sovereignty, and authenticity. When you practice The Sure Thing, you are actively practicing self‑empowerment.
Q5: I don’t like my body, can this help?
The practice cultivates self‑acceptance. Guided visualizations and exercises shift attention from self‑judgment to self‑compassion and body trust.
Q6: My partner has zero interest. Now what?
Start a Solo Sure. Don’t wait. This is a love‑replenishing practice, including self‑love. You and your partner will benefit.
Q7: I have sexual trauma, will this be safe?
You are in charge. You set the boundaries and the pace. The book reframes shame, includes a powerful innocence‑reclaiming exercise, and guides readers to discern and ask for what you want. The reader is gently led to their own innate knowing, deepest desires, and healing through self-love.
Q8: I have a physical illness/limited energy, can this practice work for me?
Yes. Your mind may be your most sensitive erogenous zone. Your practice can be gentle and brief. Many notice more energy over time.
